


Poems from a broken soul

by JewelOfForest



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Gay, Happy, Metaphorical, Other, Poetry, Sad, Serial Killer, Vampires, my poems vary but mostly not happy in someway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-04-07 21:39:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19093657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewelOfForest/pseuds/JewelOfForest
Summary: These are my poems, i have written. i got a lot of them. explict because of dark themes within, such as ones as if about it's a serial killer and stuff.





	1. Cut

A little cut,  
Redness sweeps out.  
A tingly sensation   
of pain, comes with.

You keep doing it  
To feel the pain  
It tells you  
You're still real.

You'll use anything  
You can get  
When you need  
Your next hit

You'll dig in  
Your fingers  
And nails  
If there's nothing else.

You'll do it  
Until the day  
You get lost  
To the numbness.

Close your eyes  
And give in to  
The welcoming  
Darkness and red.


	2. Suicide... Failed

Thrusting you back  
Into the burning white.  
You scream  
You shout

You beg  
To go back  
Into the peaceful  
Blackness of death

They embrace you  
Why did the people  
Call Death, he   
Death is neither he or she

No, in death  
You are nothing  
But your soul striped bare.  
No Name, No Sex, No Nothing

How you long   
To be back there  
As everyone is equal  
And the same in death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by dead poet society, if a certain scene had gone another way. please feel free to tell me what you think or discuss dps with me


	3. Our Story

We write our story  
In a million different ways

On our skin  
Permanently inflicted

In the hearts of   
Those we touch

Our failures stand out  
To us, when we look back

When we're gone  
What will they say of us

We'll find out  
Soon enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it. please feel free to comment


	4. Freedom

The cold  
Travels through you

Freezing everything  
Inside you

Your heart frozen  
And broken

Until  
That final breath

When the warmth  
Runs through you.  
Your Frozen heart set  
Free and mended

As you bled out  
On the floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you been enjoying my poems. Feel free to comment and tell me what you think it is about


	5. Least expect it

I'm dying  
I know I am

They smile as they  
Say I'll be fine  
Right as rain  
In no time

So I put on  
A smile as fake   
As a clown smile

I hear them  
Whispering she wouldn't die,  
She's too young to die

But that's not true  
No one is too young  
To die, as death can  
Come on you

When you....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 points to anyone who can work out what's special about the title. i hope you enjoy it


	6. Ice

Your kiss is  
Like a death sentence,  
Your heart an iceberg

Unreachable  
To anyone  
Even yourself

Many try  
But they   
Soon give up

But not me  
I'll keep  
on trying

So, what  
If this  
Kills me

We all died  
In the end.  
There's no stopping that

So, if i have   
To die, there is  
No other way,

I would rather   
Die trying,  
To reach your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear there are some happy ones.


	7. Truths

Slowly fading away  
On the floor  
I can't help to realize  
Some truths, I wished I knew sooner.

It does get better  
But only temporarily  
You work to keep it that way  
But don't have the energy to.

Sticks, and stones  
May break your bones but  
Their words leave  
Marks on your heart.

The shoe never fits  
Until you break it  
And break free  
From the oldest lie.

Happily ever after  
It doesn't exist  
But that's okay and  
Doesn't matter in the end.

The joy you cause in people  
That's what matters,  
As they'll be the ones that remember   
You long after you're gone

And faded away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It fun what a talk about fairy tales and happy ending can turn into


	8. Run Away

You have sleepless nights  
And restless days,  
Where you want to be  
Anywhere, but here

You dream of leaving  
Becoming someone else.  
Where no one knows you  
Or expects anything of you.

Somewhere to start anew,  
A dirty slate painted over,  
Ready to be repainted  
As the real you.

Beautiful, and majestic,  
Colourful, and dark,  
Everything that is you.  
All your faults included, and

All your success too.  
As they are each a part of you, and  
All of you is important and worth it,  
No matter what they say.

Even when you don't feel  
Like you are anything but  
Broken, ugly and worthless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is mine, but mood. i do want to run away a lot


	9. Growing up

I spend  
My whole life  
Wanting to   
Grow up.

Now, I have  
I wish  
I could   
Go back

Before I  
Saw how terrible  
The people   
Really are.

We hurt   
Each other  
Because they are  
Different from us.

The world  
Is ending  
But not  
In fire

Like we   
Expected  
But in   
The slow decay

Of the   
Human race  
Killing itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> growing up is good and bad


	10. Betrayal

A razor's edge  
A cut slip throat  
The blood  
Runs down

Life slowly  
Drains out  
Of their eyes,  
Full of surprise.

A kiss goodbye  
Now blood stained lips.  
They try to talk, but  
There's too much blood.

Last thing, they see  
Is the smile  
On my lips,  
Stained with their blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant it with the serial killer thing.


	11. Beth

Her smile  
Is blinding.  
Her beautiful  
Brown eyes,  
Memorizing.

She is  
Always laughing,  
So carefree,  
It seems  
The opposite of me.

She is kind  
And sweet,  
Unlike many  
In this world  
Of quiet misery.

She is  
Always wearing  
The same   
old thing,  
It looks lovely on her.

She is the  
Kind of person,  
We need more   
Of, in this world  
Of hate, and angry.

Which is why  
I write this   
For her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when your crush who enjoys your poems and always does a cute giggle after reading them, ends up finishing all the poems you had? Why write one about her of course, without trying to seem too gay as she's straight.
> 
> ps these aren't necessary in written order. just in the order they were copied out into my little book


	12. Dead or Alive

It doesn't matter  
If you're dead or alive.

No one cares,  
Not really.

They all tell me,  
I should care, but

sorry, I can't care  
whether i live or die today.

Maybe I'll care tomorrow,  
But i wouldn't hold my breath

If I was you,  
Unless you want to.

If that's the case,  
I'll see you soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah. Death is a theme in my poems


	13. Nights

The brightness  
Of the day,  
Kills that which  
Thrives in the dark.

The day  
Is so full  
Of people  
And their hate.

The night  
Is full  
Of silence  
And darkness.

The night air,  
is filled with  
Ideas, and life.  
The feeling   
That you can do anything.

That there's nothing  
To stop you  
Now it's dark,  
And it hides all your  
Secrets and Hopes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's one of the happier ones. which i hope you still like


	14. We are

We are  
The Generation  
That's drowning

Under the   
Waves of the  
Hate and Ignorance

Of the   
Generation  
Before us

They said  
We have   
It so easy

And if   
We are anything   
What you aren't,

Then it's  
Just a phrase   
Nothing real.

We are  
The Generation  
That will fight,

Swim against  
The waves trying   
To drown us,

To silence us.  
We'll lose  
Brave people

Along the way.  
They fought   
So hard

But were  
Dragged down  
To the bottom

Of the sea  
By those  
Who were

Meant to  
Care, and  
Those who

Didn't matter,  
But their  
Words still cut.

We wouldn't   
Forget them,  
Even when

The media,  
Try to paint  
Them over

In a bad light,  
And erase them  
From history.

We are the  
Generation  
That hopes

What we   
Fight for  
Will be fixed

For those  
That come  
After us,

And that  
History will   
Not forget

Us, and  
Our struggles.  
So history

Doesn't repeat  
Itself, like it  
Is Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a whole discussion with myself explaining why we were the drowning generation but i forgot most of it and instead wrote this. It started because in college English lit we were discussing how Gatsby was part of what called the lost generation due to the war.


	15. Broken

Broken bonds  
And broken hearts,  
Trying to mend themselves  
But they'll never be the same.

Broken smiles  
And broken love,  
Killing my heart  
As I watch on.

Broken promises  
And broken trust.  
They'll never have  
The same open heart again.

Broken world  
And broken hope,  
There's nothing, I can do to  
Stop it all breaking.

Broken everything  
And no fix  
For a world lost,  
In it's hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was started because i was thinking about meeting mcr and in this daydream i was writing a poem on the board of a coffee shop which i worked in or ran really by the seems of it. It was fun and it gave me a new poem


	16. Burned

I came  
To a field  
Which reminds  
Me of You.

It's covered  
In flowers,  
Dozens upon  
Dozens of them.

They are  
As red as  
The flames  
In your heart.

These flowers  
Are kind tho,  
They do not  
Burn me, like You did,

But that  
Was my fault.  
I knew  
The dangers

Of getting close  
To a heart like yours.  
To be in the presents   
Of one so passionate.

You take   
All You love  
On a ride  
Of a lifetime.

We all knew  
It would crash and burn,  
As that is   
The way with fire.

None of us  
Could resist you,  
Well, at least  
Not me.

If I could go back  
And change it,  
So I never got burned,  
I would never.

The passion, and happiness,  
You brought to life in me,  
When we were together,  
Was worth all the burns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like fire.


	17. Growing down

A new life,  
Unaware,  
Of this world  
And it's quiet misery.

Yet, to know  
Of the pain  
Others will cause  
In hate, or fear.

He'll grow up  
Pretending to   
Be a grown up,  
So naive of what's to come.

Now, he's grown up,  
He's wishing with  
All his heart,  
To go back.

When he was   
Young,  
And everything seemed  
So easy, and so easy to fix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know about you, but i wish i could go back to being young before i knew how shitty everything is and when i was still completely hopeful


	18. Undead

I'm still breathing,  
But I haven't been  
Alive in a long time.

I survive each day,  
But that's not living,  
This lifeless life.

Stuck in a   
Never ending cycle,  
Of hate, and pain.

How my   
Heart breaks  
Every day and night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sad. like my life at the time i wrote this


	19. Happily ever after

Don't hang your heart  
On happily ever after.

It doesn't exist,  
It never did.  
Oh well,  
There's nothing you can do,  
It will never change.

You can get close to it,  
But that's all  
You can do,

As no one  
Is meant to live  
Happily ever after,  
Especially not us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On one hand, i love happy endings. On the other hand, i don't always believe in them


	20. Millions

A million  
Smiling faces  
In a million  
Broken places,

No one  
Notices tho,  
Why would they,  
They don't even care

For a million  
Broken faces  
In a million  
Smiling places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This poem was actually created off of another poem, but that poem is just put in the book later.


	21. Free

I stare out  
Of the window,  
To a place, Free.

I'm trapped,  
Stuck in this room,  
In this system,

Which convinces you,  
If you're not smart,  
You're worth nothing  
Out there.

If only  
I could leave,  
And run far away

To a place  
Free, and full  
Of life.

I could  
Jump out  
The window,

Go to  
A temporarily  
Free place.

I could  
Run against the  
Wind, or with it.

It's making  
The tree branches  
Bend, and swing.

I wonder if  
It's strong enough  
To make me fly,

It looks  
Like it would  
Pick me up, and

Lift me high, above  
The clouds  
And take me away

To the place  
Which is free  
And full of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in class, but it was a windy day and outside looked so nice


	22. The End

Sorry I wasn't  
Your definition of perfect,  
You wanted more  
Than I could give.

I left you to die  
With all that pain. And  
Left behind all the pain  
You had caused me.

Now The End  
Has come.  
There's nothing  
We can do, to  
Avoid what's to come.

It was always,  
Going to end this way,

With you,  
My beautiful,  
Deadly lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gay, at least that's how i was writing it because i'm really gay


	23. Alone

I am so alone  
In a million  
Smiling faces.

There is so  
Many of them,  
Some i know but

Still I'm left alone.  
They have each other,  
No one i know, left for me.

The longer this  
Goes on, the more  
I question, Why

Am i even here?  
Sure, they're my friends,  
And i'm theirs,

But they each have,  
Someone they like better.  
It wouldn't matter,

If I left, they wouldn't  
Realize i'm gone  
Until it's too late,

Temporarily, or permanently.   
They may wonder  
From time to time,

What happen to me;  
Why hadn't they  
Seen me in a while,

But I would soon  
Fade from their minds  
As easily as i faded

From them, and their  
Drowning smiles,  
When i was Alive,

And so alone,  
In a million   
Smiling faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the poem that millions was made from. I just repeated that one line and it ended up becoming a whole new poem


	24. Toy

Your heart  
Was like ice.  
It slowly cut  
Me into pieces.

It started small,  
Got me use to them,  
Addicted to them.  
Then you went for the kill.

You got bolder,  
More hurtful.  
The shards of your  
Ice heart becoming sharper.

Until it got to  
Where we are today.  
With me, lying on your floor,  
Dying. You don't even care.

It started off so good.  
You were the most  
Sublime person i had  
Ever met, or so I thought.

It wasn't long  
Before you were   
Bored of me, and  
Your coldness started to show.

I was just a toy  
To you  
There to pass the time,  
Until you get bored with me.

Not the kind to  
Share your toys,  
Even your old ones.  
That's when the new game starts.

To break your toys  
Slowly, until it believes  
No one will want it.  
It's damaged goods.

That's when what  
Is Truly in your heart shows.  
You have it perfected,  
Done it so many times.

You love iit  
When your game,  
Gets too much  
And we leave,

Broken and defeated.  
You always win.  
Your favourite win,  
Is when we leave

In a body bag.  
Then you play  
The part  
Of the broken hearted

Girlfriend, so well.  
The thrill it gives you,  
Knowing what they  
Don't.

That it was your game,  
That caused this.  
That you are  
Smarter than them.

It's never ending,  
You'll play your game  
Until you die.  
Perhaps from old age,

But most likely,  
One day, you'll  
Make a mistake,  
Pick someone

Who been broken before,  
And in the rush and pain  
Of memories  
You'll drag up.

They'll snap.  
They'll put an end  
To you, and   
Your game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there is some nice gay, but for now enjoy the evil one that you wanna fight


	25. Here

Close your eyes  
Don't hold your breath  
In the naive hope,  
That you  
Will get out  
Of here  
Soon.

You're here   
Until death  
Finally release  
You from  
The hell  
You made  
Of your life.

It's why  
You're left  
For dead  
They don't care  
About us.  
Death is  
All we have left  
That's how bad  
We fucked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently this sounds like a start to a story. agree? disagree? think something else? Well, feel free to let me know down in the comments


	26. Itch

The pain reminds you,  
You're real.  
Being dead is better  
Than feeling unreal.

The numbest  
Of death is far more welcoming,  
Than the itch, of the nights  
When you're not sure,

You really exist.  
Even if you did,  
It wouldn't matter,  
The itch never goes.

It goes into hiding   
Until the next moment,  
Of weakness, then  
It comes back

And makes you  
Want to die,  
And one day, you'll give in,  
Just not today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is both just general dissociating from yourself and also to do with being trans-nb


	27. Contradiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: abusive relationship based

She is  
A contradiction

Kind and fun,  
Harsh and cruel,

So sad, and happy.  
Never really caring,

About her heart,  
Or the hearts she breaks,

Or that one of those  
Hearts is mine.

She is still  
My best friend tho,

Despite the fact  
Our relationship

Is an abusive one.  
She takes, and takes,

Never giving anything back.  
I rarely ask for anything in return.

She is not the first to,  
And she will not be the last.

No, the first has always  
Been in my life,

Since before i was born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is partly inspired by a friend and a family member of mine.


	28. Something

It's something true,  
Is it something important?  
It could break a heart,  
Perhaps your own,  
The day you find the truth.

It's the secret,  
All hearts know,  
But not all hearts find.  
They are caught up,  
In themselves, or shallow things.

It's the answer   
To all problems.  
It's why you should  
Seize the day  
Or the night.

Do you want to know?  
Are you sure?  
Sure, you can handle it?  
Willing to risk your heart?  
If not, better stop now.

Your life,  
My life,  
Is worth nothing,  
That's the truth  
And always will be unless

You make it  
Mean something.  
Do what you want to do  
Or just live a life  
Of quiet misery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was about my own truth and how life is short and meaningless so why live it for someone else when you can making it meaningful to you. you got to live your truth, even as it breaks your heart as it's worse not being honest with yourself


	29. Today

I don't care  
Not today.

Not for  
A long time

As what's  
The point

It never changes.  
It never feels like

Anything i do,  
Helps to fix it.

How can I,  
When i'm not

Even sure,  
What is broken.

Feeling so incomplete,  
All the time,

Not ever knowing  
What is the missing part.

To make me feel  
Complete, and whole

Again, or perhaps for  
The first time

In my life,   
And if god is merciful,

Like they say,  
Then I will 

Not die, before I know,  
And become whole.

Even if it is only  
For a few seconds

Before I die.  
If I were granted that,

I would stop off  
At heaven on my way,

And thank god,  
Instead of screaming

At god, why don't you care?  
When they all say you do?

Once that is done,  
And i'm quite happy to do either,

I'll go where I belong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have depression, and it makes me want to die sometimes so it's featured a lot in my poems. it's a healthy way to left out all the bad stuff.


	30. Him

His arm  
Around  
My neck

Chocking me  
Cutting off  
My supply

Of air  
Breaking my  
Heart at the same time

I love him  
But he  
Cannot accept

His love  
For me.  
As they

Said love  
Like ours  
Is a sin

It's fading  
To black now.  
He will

Not stop  
Until I'm  
Dead

He doesn't  
Mean to.  
I know

Although he  
Is killing  
Me

I can't  
Help but  
To be happy

As even  
Tho i'll  
Die

I'll die  
In his  
Arms

And there  
Is no better place  
To die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with this while watching the end of year exam in my first college for my performing arts course. It was an amazing performance, and we all had to do it about points in history, we got options to choose from and this group chosen old time army, when being gay was deemed so bad. One guy obviously gay and accepted himself even if he couldn't be public about it, and the other couldn't accept himself and tried to deny it which lead to him killing the other guy. They were in a correction prison for army people, kind that soldiers used to be sent to, to fix what made them undesirable to the army before potentially being kicked out or like killed.


	31. Lies

They all lie to you.  
You lie to yourself  
In return.

They'll tell you, you're smart  
You know you're not  
But you'll never tell.

You'll say you're  
A good person.  
The lie taste  
Bitter on your tongue.

Everyone tells you  
It'll be okay,  
They're lying to themselves too.

It's a never ending cycle,  
These lies they tell you,  
You will tell other.  
A million never ending lies  
As after all  
Those lies are all we have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it. feel free to leave a comment about what you think

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it. please feel free tell me any thoughts of them.


End file.
